This afternoon Clint and I attended the funeral of an 18 year old boy who died Saturday night in a car accident here in Tulia. He was a senior at our high school and attended our Friday lunches that we have at our church regularly. I couldn't pick his face out of a thousand, but because Clint is a local youth minister we thought we would go to show our support to the hurting Tulia teens.
We arrived at the funeral about 30 minutes ahead of schedule knowing that it would be packed. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone so the whole town showed up. We didn't even get a seat in the auditorium, instead we stood in the church kitchen listening to the funeral over the loud speaker.
As I stood there listening to the songs "I can only Imagine" and "Jesus Loves Me," I couldn't help but wonder what I was doing here. It's difficult for me to hear about my friends moving to big cities such as Dallas and Austin and finding great jobs and loving life. I'm still experiencing culture shock here in Tulia and it's at times like today when the whole community comes together that I really feel that I don't belong here, that I don't fit in. It's a new feeling, one that hasn't come regularly in my life.
As I reflect on these feelings and the funeral today, I think I'm exactly where the Lord wants. It doesn't matter if I'm in Tulia or Dallas, what matters is that my heart longs not to be here, but to be with the Lord.
If you read this...could you pray for these things...
*Tulia teens as they grieve the loss of Jacob Rogers
*Clint's role as a minister to these hurting students and Tulia in general
*My job search
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3 comments:
It is so hard to move to some place new. Even in a big city, I felt the very same...the feeling of not belonging here. It definitely takes time and patience. But how exciting to be in a town where everyone does know everyone. After some time passes what will they know you for, Kat? I can name a few....they will know you for your HUGE heart and smile. They will know you for your hospitality and love for your husband. They will see you as your husbands partner in the church and in life. I could go on and on and I just know you from camp. But I see those things and they will too. You just have to get over that hump in the beginning. Just be yourself and be true to yourself, and it will be no time, Kat, when that small town is thanking God that Kat Burns lives there! I will be praying for the things you mentioned.
kat i (and many others) know exactly how you feel, being in a new place in this iteresting season of life. keep trusting in the Lord and he will fill you and clint with the affirmation and peace that only he can provide. I know ya'll are doing great work there.
tell Clint go Duke for me
Kat,
I will be praying for the youth in Tulia, and for Clint's role. What a hard time.
I will also be praying for you. I can definitely relate to your feelings. Love you!
Jenny
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