Wednesday, December 05, 2012

I am not skilled to understand

You're probably looking for cute pictures of Graham...those will come another day.  Today and this week, I've been struggling.  So, probably for one of the only times, I'm going to share my heart real heart. 

That first line of that Aaron Shust song has been playing in my head these past few weeks.  The one that starts, "I am not skilled to understand..."

I'm not skilled to understand why a past colleague at ACU just delivered a still born baby at 16 weeks, only one year after delivering a previous still born baby.  I don't get it.

I'm not skilled to understand why a 10 year old boy in Abilene, TX died of brain cancer last week leaving behind his parents and 2 younger siblings. 

I'm not skilled to understand why a childhood friend just lost her 21 month old baby boy last night because of brain complications they knew about before he was born.  Really, that had to happen?

I'm not skilled to understand why our neighbor's father's brain cancer was found again this week.  He's only 57.  He beat cancer once, this time they aren't so sure. 

I'm not skilled to understand why a precious lady in our church was just diagnosed with lung cancer; it's in her lymph nodes too. 

There's a lot of hurt around right now.  Hurt that I don't understand.  Hurt that has kept me up at night.  And although the hurt is unexplainable, I wasn't made to comprehend it, I wasn't made to understand it.  But, I was made to be the hands and feet of Jesus amongst it and that's what I'll cling to for today.  In midst of the hurt, I cling to the truth that the Lord is my Shepherd.  He was the Savior, is the Savior and always will be the matter the hurt. 

1 comment:

Amy Couchman said...

thanks kat for this! there is so much hurting going on right now and this is exactly what i needed to hear to not feel hopeless. you continue to be the best kadesh counselor ever.